I see myself dancing to the rhythmic gymnastics I created in my journal, few months ago.
This is an article I had promised myself to write in my previous year.
Even when my soul was saturated with circumstances, chaos, love, menace, culture.
My whimsical journal still brought me to its edges. Flipped the pages at my curiosity and made me read my history.
So as I promised myself
I’m listening to what my heart wants me doing as a 20 year old,
- keeping promises: guilt trip me all you want, but my soul doesn’t waiver when a soul that doesn’t deserve my chaos, is being melancholic. However, I promised myself to stay true to my voice, so remember, that your guilt didn’t make me do this. Just truth. Being true to my truth.
- Truth is, I’m making battles larger than me. However, I’ll also take with me, wings that can outlive me. So when it’s time, I’ll fly away and accompany my ancestors who have soared beyond their limits.
- Limitations are on hold for now: I don’t think I can see them. They are blurry chaoses that can not be visible to me.
- I’m making my goals visible- I’ve decided to open up my eyes and see what is written before me. So I can walk into them with splendor and eagerness.
- I’m not taking away splendor from my self. My heart is ready to settle for gold, magic and peace.
- Peace like a river. Would be my anthem, because I’m woven in strength and stories. That no one can tell better than I can. So I’m going to sit in my mind’s chaos, and create peace. Peace that won’t waiver! Peace that can voice out my heart.
- My heart is happy because now she can fly and blossom and bloom. She can grow and water other flowers too.
- I want to see other flowers blossom from my branch and spring out their color and beauty and form, and fall in love with their petals, so that no one would tell them that love was supposed to look a particular way.
- I want to fall in love with myself and my love and my soul and my heart and my body and my body and my body and me.
- Me means i might not be perfect. Me also means culture, a proud happy girl that is beautiful that is colorful and bright and magic and magic and magic.
- Magic to me would always be persistence and consistency. It says keep trying, keep becoming, your soar would soon arise and those weeds soaking away your buoy, will soon disappear.
- I’m detaching myself from weeds, sprouting from my soul, my hard work and my pain. I’m shedding those people who’s toxicity can’t survive with my new skin.
- Survival of my new works are priority. However, I know that I’ve to grow through them and love and understand how much they need me. I am also ready to rise again when everything crumbles, provided that I’m in a good mental space.
- I’m working on myself, my mental health. I’m going to give my heart and mind what it demands from me – patience and time. Also, I’ll give my spirit all that she desires- consistency and obedience.
- Feeding my spirit consistently. Before this ripe new age, I’ve recorded steady growth in my spiritual life. I’ve come to realize that a spiritual life requires spiritual wisdom. So I’m ready to blossom into a wise flower.
- It would be wise to figure out what career goals I can set for myself and meet up with them.
- Meeting up with my long forgotten language classes. So I can explore culture and form properly and communicate the emotions of my characters vividly.
- My characters, that have always taken refuge in my head, would come to live finally. This year, I’m ready to give my pen, wings.
- I want to share magic pens around, make more people see the light in self expression and telling stories.
- Magic clouds my eyes my color my cheeks my smiles. At this age I want to be more magic than I have ever been before. I want to be golden and magic just like you reading this. I want to be sure i can be black and magic.
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